"Oh, That Beautiful Blonde"

She came into my life knowing who I was.

WIth time she has accepted me and in some ways, she is still accepting me.

We are closer than most couples.

We are stronger,

Happier,

more confident.

She is the beautiful blonde girl I adore.

I am the girl, she loves,

no matter what.



We met by chance. I was upfront with my gender issues.

She met me at night,

no judgement,

no other goal than to find out who "I" was,

and still am.

She found a girl beneath a pile

of lies and depression.

She vowed to love that girl.

She was fashonable.

Excited to have a girl who knew so little,

but wanted to know so much.

Their hobbies were so similar.

Both girls, loving fashion,

adoring....Shoes.

 They both knew a beautiful outfit,
A beautiful Purse
And a beautiful girl
All come together with the addition of the perfect
Shoes.

My taste was so juvenile.

My beautiful blonde taught me

that gorgeous shoes,

Much like gorgeous girls,

come in many shapes, colors and styles.

My eyes were opened

wide.

What it meant to be a girl

in body, mind

and soul.

That was what I had to learn first.

Why do girl's love fashion,

adore shoes

and know the in's and out's

of why something looks good,

why something looks bad 

and everything in between?

Because another girl taught them.

MY Beautiful Blonde

was teaching me.

She showed me that beauty

was never

too tall........

 

Beauty was our love of eachother

mixed in with a love

of Shoes,

Clothes,

Movies,

Music,

Sex,

And the joys of being two girls

Deeply

In Love.

Being a girl wasn't about the shoes,

the outifits, the hair.

It was about an emotion.

It was and is about love for myself,

love for my Beautiful Blonde Girlfriend,

and the love that she radiates for me.

We choose to express our love

through the beautiful, feminine and gorgeous

Clothes and shoes

(and girly accessories)

That we wear

beacause it's something we love together.

"Dream, Pray, Love"

Lay back and imagine becoming her. Use your mental image to convert and transform your physical self.

Your hair is going to grow feminine.

Girly cascading hair

in any style you choose.

Short, playful hair.

Long storybook Hair.

Or somewhere between.

Whatever makes you feel pretty.

You will begin styling your hair.

More femine every day.

This will inspire you.

Seeing your feminine hair will be a treat.

Looking in mirrors will be soooo much fun.

The gym has mirrors.

These mirrors will allow you to see your body transform.

You will do feminine excercises.

Lift light, feminine weights.

You will slim down your tummy,

build up your butt

and as you do you will feel estrogen pump through you.

You will buy women's workout clothes.

Your first purchase will be very feminine sneakers.

They will tone your butt.

Your thighs.

You will have strength in your butt, thighs, legs

and you will wear heels to show it all off.

Sexy,

Sultry,

Girly,

High Heels.

You will shave your legs.

Heels look better

with shaved,

feminine

legs.

You will wax your legs.

You will love the smoothness.

You will never have hair on your legs again.

Smooth,

Girly,

Legs.

You will wear tight dresses outside.

You will show off your body.

you will use accessories

to declare your femininity.

You will only express girlish,

feminine behavior

and it will be worth it.

You will be free of male qualities.

You will be a Sexy girl.

You will be a Cute girl.

You will be a Real girl.

"Let Her Win"

Before I was able to know the difference between girl's and boys, the female in me fought back. Deep within my imagination she forced her way to the forefront of my thoughts and made herself known.
I had no Choice. I was never going to be a boy. I was, still am, and always will be, 100% female. The same goes for you.
It will begin as a harmless fantasy. A feminine mirage which all too soon will consume your sexuality. Then it will conquer your interests, thoughts, hobbies.....personality.

Finally it will take over and you will be her. She is strong and will survive. Do not fight back, because you know you are her.

It began in other girl's closets.

Little items.

Skirts, panties, lingerie.

But it wasn't enough.

She needed

Shoes,

Hair,

Makeup.

She needed you to be more like her.

More girly.

More feminine.

You happily obliged her.

You always will.

She wanted to be one of the girls.

She loved the look and smell of the Salon.

The intamacy of girl talk,

girl time.

She needed that.

YOU needed that.

You were scared.

She was never scared.

The first time you heard your heels

click and clack against the floor.

The rush as you crossed by an open window

while the breeze brushed your skirt.

You were hooked

and she was winning.

You began loving her.

Some days there was only her.

Only her voice,

only her thoughts,

only her smile.

Soon that will be everyday.

Don't fight her.

Don't fight yourself.

Let Her Win.

Let Her Win.

Let Her Win.

LET HER WIN.

"Proud Pop Princess"



The 1980s was an era of flamboyance and fame. Giving birth to the Music Video, myself and Pop music as I know it, the 80s was my androgynous awakening. The start of my descent into sadness over my sexual confusion and repressed feminine self. Continuing throughout the 1990's, I grew increasingly depressed as I was raised as a boy, forced to spend my time on boy hobbies and assured that any deviation would be met with severe teasing to a degree that could crush my spirit and last for the rest of my life.

I was a child of no more than 6 or 7 years old and I was already learning of life's cruelty. I would remain miserable for two full decades, until I realized what comes to mind when I think of my past 26 years. Family, of course is a happy thought and friends as well, but when I really smile is when I think of the iconic women and girls that somehow touched my young male life and how often I spent admiring them in secret.

My only true regret in life is realizing I should have embraced my love of The wonderful world of Girls and there ever lasting imprint in Pop Culture.

This is my tribute to some, not all, of the women who reached out past the T.V., the silver screen and of course the speakers on my radio.

She inspired it all.

The Goddess and role model

For every Pop Princess.

She was a virgin.

A slut.

A gay icon.

Look at her eyes.

That sexy stare.

A stare that whispered "SEX" to men,

 "SLUT" to middle aged women,

And It screamed "INSPIRATION",

to so many young girls

as well as this

young 

boy.

This was the girl the 90's loved.

At least all "my" guy friends in the 90s.

Before There was Harajuku.

There was

"I'm Just a Girl"

It was strange to see the guys.

desperately staring at her photos.

Looking to see her tits.

I stared as well,

but

I saw jewelery. 

I saw hair.

I saw lips

plump

and

perfectly painted.

I adored her,

admired her and

Each Night

as I put on that,

Fun,

Furiously Female,

#1-Hit

I felt so lucky

to be just a Girl.

But I wasn't a girl.

School made that very clear.

The clothes and shoes

that the girl's were so excited to own

Became more and more extravagant

as each year passed.

They started getting boobs

I started getting hair and pimples.

unfair

undeniable

I wanted to be like them

but I wasn't

The girl in me was a grainy image.

A blur behind a false face

and a forced smile.

Then SHE came along.

Her videos.

The school girl outfit.

She was a bimbo.

Dumb, blonde, sexy

She was

Britney.

She turned me on.

Aroused me

in a way that I never thought possible.

The desire to be her

was amazing.

To be

Cute,

Bubbly,

Famous!

A Proud Pop Princess.

                                                                  

The girls of the late 90's

were Goddesses to me.

Amazing and fierce.

Dominant over all the male Icons

that I pretended to like.

I began looking at girl's

with sexual envy.

Wanting to be them,

wear their clothes,

Talk,

walk,

act,

laugh,

smile,

like a girl

Years passed

I spent my time pretending.

I wanted to be all sorts of girls.

Tall, Skinny, Short, Heavy.

Each type, personality, style

and mindset

I wanted to be a funny girl

A pretty girl

A slutty girl

I saw all these new teen starlets

emerge and do what I had wanted to do.

Become famous

popular

pretty

Then, a new Queen saved me

I was GaGa.

She showed me who I could be.

I could be different.

And it was all ok because, baby....I was born this way.

Even if I was just
one of the boys
I could
fight back,
love myself
and
Finally be a proud and pop princess.